HUGE

i admit, i have not watched one second of the show Huge, nor do i plan to, but from what i can gather during commercial breaks from any of the FIFTY channels Disney owns, it's a show about chubby girls at a fat camp crushing on hot, young studs who constantly have their shirts off and wanting so badly to be loved by them...which they do! or in any case, they get a nice, slow, passionate television kiss out of it.

oh, ladies....

this proves that even the lowest of self-esteems can remain vain and shallow. i mean, let's face it, you're at a fat camp; surely, there are some tubby dudes walking around the woods, canoeing, or in the mess hall, waiting for you to fawn over them, right? oh, are you telling me you don't get weak in the knees when you see a jiggly belly? you mean a double chin doesn't put butterflies in your stomach? wait, let me get this straight, are you saying that the sound of his thighs rubbing together doesn't make you swoon? you must be kidding.

hm, i guess you're not. well, i assume it is only fair then that you feel depressed and biased against the fact that guys only like hot, skinny girls. i just wish they weren't so shallow about it.